Good afternoon, friendly Readers,
In 1938, Dr. Arlie Bock began a research study at Harvard. It originally included 268 male Harvard students (because back then, the only students Harvard had were male) and then later adding in 456 young men from an inner-city Boston cohort. Dr. Bock wanted to shift focus from studying disease and what makes people sick and instead investigate what causes people to thrive and live successful healthy lives. The study, named The Harvard Study of Adult Development, has now been running for 87 years and has not only followed its original participants throughout their lives, but also expanded to study their wives and descendants for a total of over 2,000 participants. It is the longest-running scientific study of adult life ever conducted.
So, what are the findings of this incredible study? What conclusions have been drawn about how to live a long, healthy, successful life? Get enough sleep? Eat your veggies? Don’t do drugs?
The core finding of this study was clear. Your relationships are the most important factor to your health. In fact, they showed that satisfaction with your relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of your physical health at age 80 than your blood pressure or your cholesterol levels! It also showed that quality matters more than quantity. Close, safe, positive relationships are what matter, not how many people you are acquainted with.
Now, I am not saying physical health doesn’t matter. Don’t read that as “you can survive on a diet of Twinkies and beer as long as you’re sharing with a close friend”. The study did show that physical health mattered, albeit not nearly as much relational health. Actually, on the flip side of that, loneliness is shown to do as much damage to your physical health as alcoholism or smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Yikes!
Okay, so the science looks pretty clear. What about our for sure truth? What does it have to say about community and friendships? Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
That sounds pretty clear as well. “Meeting up together” is not referring to some formal church service (although don’t let me discourage you from that either). Read it in context – we’re being told not to isolate ourselves (however tempting that may be for some of us), but to spend time together, help each other, show support and encouragement. You know, be friends!
It makes sense, right? Purpose does not happen in a vacuum. Not only will you do a poorer job at whatever your Assignment is without help or support, but who are you really serving if you are without a community?
Are you with me so far? It looks like all the data aligns. Community is not only nice, it’s necessary.
What does that look like for us? Great research, Geneva, but what am I supposed to do with it? Most people aren’t lonely by choice. Making friends and finding community isn’t always easy.
That being said, I think we’re in a hopeful place. More and more people are looking for connection in this age of digitalization, delivery, and remote options. For example, book clubs are now becoming much more popular. According to The Conversation, 21% of Gen Z and 29% of Millennials now belong to a book club. Now I really want to start a book club! Church attendance is up. Running clubs are increasing in popularity. Casual bowling leagues are experiencing a revival. People are seeking connection and community. Take something you are passionate about a find a group of people who are also passionate about it.
If you can’t find one, start one! Find people that will encourage you and spur you on to better deeds! Find people that you want to be like. And don’t be afraid to be selective, because you know the saying – “Show me your closest friends and I’ll show you your future”. Reach out to that friend/acquaintance that you want to hang out with. Post something on the community board at work or at your local library. Start a small group at your church. Find your people! They matter. You need all the support available to you to achieve your purpose to the best of your (and your community’s) ability.
What do you think? How and where have you found community? Or are you still not convinced? Let me know in the comments!
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