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Good evening, radiant Readers,
I recently saw a meme similar to this, shared it with Alex, and we had a good laugh. It is not really fair to our kids, because it doesn’t reflect their attitude most of the time. However, sometimes… let’s just say there is a reason it resonated with us.
When I was thinking about our pursuit of taking responsibility for our work, lives, etc. I thought back to this meme, and maybe it resonates more than I realized. This may be a silly example, but how often do we hear things like “that’s above my pay grade”, “that’s not my problem”, or (and this is one I personally cannot stand!) “it is what it is”. These are all phrases that indicate a lack of intent to act or apparently excuse us from doing anything about a problem or opportunity. They are incredibly commonplace and accepted, if not respected. They are all just grown-up versions of “it’s not my sock!”
I think we have come to see responsibility as a formal or documented obligation, like a job description. Someone sees something that needs to be done, then refers to their written agreement to find out if it is within their agreed-upon responsibility. Didn’t see it? Nope, that’s not my job, must be someone else’s problem to solve.
In a way, this is understandable. We can’t be everything for everyone and do everyone’s job for them, can we? We will get stuck doing all the work! Okay, that doesn’t sound all that responsible either. What if there was something between the two extremes of not lifting one extra finger to help, and doing everything for everyone?
What does responsibility actually mean? Merriam Webster defines it as “the quality or state of being responsible: such as moral, legal, or mental accountability”. That is still a little broad, so let’s dig deeper. The root word comes from the Latin word that means “to answer” or “to respond”. Even though I don’t think this is exactly etymologically accurate, I find that thinking of responsible as “response able” or “able to respond” is a clearer way to picture the concept. Instead of referring to my job description, I can assess each opportunity. Is it within the scope of my ability/training/authority to respond to? This could open each of us up to so much more than just fulfilling an predetermined obligation. We don’t have to wait to be told before we act. We can get things done and be productive without waiting on a prompt.
Let’s go back to the meme. Is that kid free and clear because it’s his brother’s sock or is he response-able to help his dad? Does fault (it’s not my sock = it’s not my fault) or pre-assignment (think job description) equal responsibility? I don’t think so. I think responsibility is our ability to respond to an opportunity in a helpful way.
Don’t panic, I still don’t think this takes us into the “you must now do everything for everyone” territory. It’s important to assess before you jump in. Just because you are able doesn’t mean that you are actually going to be helping others. Is there someone else who will benefit more from doing this task? If so, you might be enabling their laziness if you jump in and take that task off their plate. That wouldn’t actually be helpful. The dad in that meme is technically able to pick up the sock. This would probably not benefit the kid though. However, parenting principles aside, if you see a sock someone else forgot on the floor, even if it’s not your fault, it may be your response-ability to pick it up and put it in the hamper.
I’m sure you can think of someone who fits this definition of responsibility. This is someone who jumps in without being asked. They don’t just say, “do you need any help?” They are watching, they see what you need, and step right in. They are the ones who notice when someone is awkwardly quiet in a group conversation, and make the effort to be friendly and draw that person in. They make things happen. They are a joy and a relief to be around.
Imagine a whole team of people acting response-ably. How positive and productive could we be? I get excited just thinking about it!
What are your thoughts on individual responsibility? Let me know in the comments!
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